Saturday, June 20, 2009

How is it possibly the best thing for you child?

There is a regular poster on WIR whom I like. She is very smart, very motivated and has overcome a lot in her life. However, she is currently stuck in a position which she hates. That position is full time stay at home mom with minimal opportunities to work evenings. There are other posters on there that every single time just praise her so much for making that sacrifice because it is the "best thing for the child". All I can say is give me a freaking break... like baby doesn't know that mom is miserable. It just does not compute to me. Yes, you make sacrifices for your child, but being resentful about being a stay at home parent doesn't seem like a sacrifice. It seems like freaking prison sentence for this woman. The baby is 21 months and her husband is under contract for his position for another year. They live in LA where childcare costs $1500-$2000 a month (unlike here where for that age, unpotty trained child you are talking $400-$500 a month, goes up to $600 for infants).

I just don't get it. If Bill is miserable with Baby Yo and our situation, we will work something else out. Our child may go to childcare, but do not get me wrong we will still be raising our baby. We value you our happiness. I think we have proved this by having Bill not go back to work full time. We are happier with him at home. Sure right now things are a bit tight, but not unmanageable. We are going to do what makes us happy. Who knows maybe we will both work part time (as long as I work 1000 hours a year, I still get vested for that year and Derek will let me keep my insurance through them). Bill will work for himself and I will work for Derek. I personally cannot imagine staying in a situation where we are miserable again. Bill was miserable at his last job, but he stayed and it was hard on us. I felt he was staying in a miserable situation for me and I didn't want him to do that for me. That is my take. Ask me in February what I think about staying home and all that and home much Bill is really helping me and I may have a different answer, but for now I think people need to look beyond "Oh it really is best for the child to be with a Stay at home parent"...really? Gag me with a spoon. Are we back in the 60s? We are in the 21st century. Work days are no longer just 8-5; you can work from home, you can work from Starbucks; you can work 4-10s; you can work part time. Why does everything have to fit in a little box? And why do people feel content to stuff you in that box?

Back to the poster on WIR, I think her problems actually stem from her DH. But I feel the woman that "made the sacrifice to be a stay at home parent" and back up her DH to the extreme do a disservice to woman and to the working world we live in today.

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